so...what have I been up to?

Grad school...which I love but think I may have needed a longer break.  My kiddo...he is now in 1st grade and playing flag football, where has the time gone?!

I still want out of here and I feel I will be able to move along sooner or later.  This just isn't the place for us.  I feel good about what is to come though, my life is really much better than I realized just a few short years ago.

Oh and I finally met someone worth my time...so relieved about that!  Life can be so crazy... just this summer I lost two very good friends to cancer but I've gained a better outlook on life and a new person to share with...I'm doing just fine.

So I graduated!

Yep, finally made it. Now what's next? Well, I am too afraid to be out of school so on to my Master's degree it is! I'm also looking at advocacy for cancer and trying to just get a real plan of where I want my life to go.

Busy busy

School and work and life in general have kept me away from my net friends, so so sorry guys! I'm just trying to make it and find a fitting grad school.

Cancer freakin sucks man

My friend has it and it won't go away, just keeps coming back. WHY? She's only 30, has a son to raise all on her own and THIS happens? I'm mad about it, really mad. It is NOT fair but what is? It's this helpless feeling that eats me up because she is my FRIEND and she is HURTING and SCARED and I can't do a THING for her except pray and believe me, I am doing that!

A weightloss journey I never thought was possible

I have thyroid disease. It isn't an excuse but it does make it hard to lose weight when you are constantly GAINING it for no apparent reason. When you have no energy and you just want to sleep all day long and then you are starving at night because you have slept the day away. The depression I suffered wasn't helping either and I ballooned up. I did not even realize I WAS that big. I talked to the doctor about how I felt and he upped my thyroid medication back in January and he also gave me another pill to help me not be so hungry all the time. I started walking everyday and got exercise where ever I could like only taking the stairs and parking across campus from my classes. Stopped drinking the sweet tea I was addicted to and only snacked on fruits, veggies, and granola bars. and I have lost 44lbs (last time I checked, haven't weighed in two weeks). I also watched a video about how to make yourself feel sexy and there was a vital point in it: the way you walk. I became aware of the way I moped around, always looking at the ground so I started to walk with my head up always and my back straight, like I already HAD the confidence I so greatly craved. People started to notice. The weight began to melt away and a new me emerged from that sad, scared, overweight person. I am now 12 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight and it feels so good to have ACCOMPLISHED something! Right now I am just focusing on that goal, when I reach it I will decide, along with my doctor, if I should lose more. It is not hopeless for anyone, there is always a way is what I have found. I never thought I'd ever feel completely beautiful again but I DO. I am happy and confident and it is just amazing. I love me inside and out now, how wonderful is that?

It's quite different here

I'm a small town girl so I am not used to all the hustle and bustle I've experienced here in Washington state. We do have big cities in Arkansas but I don't visit them often so that is why this is so overwhelming. I realize that I might be happier in a place like this though so that is why I am looking into getting my masters at a bigger college, someplace that has more opportunity for me and my son. The biggest thing I cannot get over is the fact that there is NO sweet tea here! I mean, what does the North have against it? They just dont' know what they are missing! haha